His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
