Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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