Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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