...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
