Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
