One girl and one boy is just not enough.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
