rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
she pinky promised me she was 18
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
