What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Say something about gay babies.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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