dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
