Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
