I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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