Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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