she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
