Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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