we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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