I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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