the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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