my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
