i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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