I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
