you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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