he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
