Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
