I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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