I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
