She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
