My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize