she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize