We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
