I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
