this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
i think i just lost a toe
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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