I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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