I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
