sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
