I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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