I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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