we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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