it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
