how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
