Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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