Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
