alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
