how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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