I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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