Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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