i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
