That's when you crack a 10am beer
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
