we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
