TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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