So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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