there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
There r osticjed everywhere
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
