I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
