So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
