Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
