I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize