I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Randomize
