Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
