real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
