thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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