This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize