Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
