I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
