i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
