I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize