She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
