Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
