I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
