I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
