It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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