Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
