I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Randomize
