thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
