end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize